This Isn't Our Car
by Sir Lofty
Summary: Set during the game right after Noctis and the gang recover the Regalia. The four friends stop off in Lestallum, but something isn't quite right...Noctis is positive that car they have, ISN'T the Regalia. Silliness follows in this funny little fic that i wrote for nothing more than Shits and Giggles


A/N Hello everyone, Lofty here. Time to right my first Final Fantasy fic. I'm really in love with FFXV. The characters are too perfect not to write for. This is just a short and funny little piece that my brother requested I write. Hope you guys like it.

Remember to leave all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, and or compliments in the reviews, flames are accepted and used to fuel the furnace in which I forge new and better fanfics. And now without further ramblings, I give you…

This isn't our car…

"This isn't our car" Noctis said sternly, arms crossed, his usual impassive gaze locked the sleek black car in front of him.

They had snuck into the military base successfully to recover the Regalia, the beloved vehicle currently used to shuttle around the noble prince of Insomnia and his company. They drove away after a scuffle with Ravus, and another unpleasant encounter with Arden. And now, they were in a parking lot in Lestallum, in front of what looked like the Regalia, but it would seem that the prince wasn't so sure…

"What do you mean it's not our car?" Gladiolus asked

"I mean, it's not our car." Noct replied, still staring down the car.

"Noct, this is definitely the Regalia." Gladiolus insisted

"No it's not, it doesn't look anything like it?"

"What do you mean? It looks exactly like it."

"Well…it's still not the Regalia."

Gladiolus frowned "We just drove forty-five minutes inside of it. I'm pretty sure it is" 

"No way"

Ignis put a hand under his chin thoughtfully and looked at the young prince "Now what would make you think that this isn't our car Noctis?"

"It just doesn't look right."

Noctis' bodyguard rolled his eyes "It looks fine to me. Iggy, you're with me, right?"

"Well, there are very few cars that can even come close to matching the Regalia…the odds that this isn't our car are incredibly low."

Gladio nodded in agreement and looked at the shorter dark haired man "You see Noct? It's gotta be our car."

"I don't care about any of that, it isn't the car."

"You know you're the only one who thinks that."

"Am not"

"Me and Iggy aren't with ya on this one."

Noctis looked over at his blond friend who was currently walking rushed circles around the "Regalia" with a concentrated frown on his face. "What about Prompto?"

Gladio glanced at the manic photographer "Prompto knows that this is our car. Don't ya Prompto?"

It took a second for him to realize that the others were looking at him, then he cleared his throat and stood up straight "Um…what?"

The large bodyguard refrained from rolling his eyes "Tell Noctis that this is definitely the Regalia."

Prompto squirmed a bit under the gazes of his friends and scratched the back of his head "Actually…I'm with Noct on this one"

"See?" Noctis said in an 'I told you so tone'

Gladilous shot an annoyed look at the smaller blond "Really?"

"Well I mean, Noct knows the Regalia better than anyone. And if he doesn't think that this is it, we should just go with that."

"So you're saying we ought to trust Noct's instincts then?" Ignis asked

Prompto nodded "Yes exactly"

"You mean like when we couldn't find the campsite and we followed his instincts fifteen kilometers in the wrong direction?" he remarked snidely

"Hey" the prince replied "to be completely fair, we were more or less following the _chocobo's_ instincts."

"It was still _your_ idea." Gladio piped in.

"Look this is different, there is no way I'm wrong about this."

"Really?" Gladiolus asked, crossing his arms.

"Yeah…it's not our car." Noctis said with more conviction.

"Okay fine…" Gladio walked over to stand closer to one of the doors of the imposter car. He knelt down and pointed to a section of the car "What's this?"

Noctis bent down to see what his shield was pointing at and scowled "A dent"

"Yup…it's a dent"

"So? What's your point?"

"That dent was from when you and I were training too close to the car and hit it by accident." He stood up and went to the front of the car. "And here" he said, pointing to a long scratch on the hood. "And this is from that time Prompto had you pose on the top of the car for that photo."

Noctis looked at the scratch and frowned "Well alright then…"

Gladio smiled "Exactly, you see now."

"Yeah…it's a clever replica. They only made it to look like our car."

Gladio facepalmed, Prompto gasped, and Ignis sighed softly.

"And who," the accented cook started "are 'they'?"

"You know, the guys that took it from us in the first place." Noct replied in a tone that made it sound like Ignis was being stupid.

"You trying to tell us that they're trying to trick us, so they put out a false car out here for us to find?" Gladio asked incredulously

Noct shrugged "Yeah…"

"No Noct" Gladio said with a dead expression

"It's not our car"

"Yes, it is"

"No, it's a fake"

"It's a real car Noct"

"Yeah, but it's not _really_ our car"

"Yes, it is dammit!" Gladio shouted as he glared

"Noctis glared back at him and crossed his arms defiantly "No it isn't"

Prompto fidgeted nervously, looking back and forth between the group and the car "But like… what if Noct is right? What if they figured we go after the Regalia and switched it out with this fake one? It's probably a trap car, maybe the brakes are cut? Or a bomb?" the blond cried, getting more and more hysterical by the second.

Ignis shook his head "Please calm down Prompto. I'm sure I would have already been made aware of any malfunctions whilst I was driving."

The muscular bodyguard groaned in annoyance "You know what? I'm done arguing. This is ridiculous…it's _our_ car, it has the marks _we_ left on it. There's no crazy conspiracy, and we need to get back on the road. End of discussion."

Prompto shook his head and waved his arms back and forth "No way…I'm not getting back in that thing."

Gladio grabbed the blond by the front of his shirt "Like hell you aren't. Get the door Iggy."

The bespectacled man opened the passenger door of the 'Maybe Regalia' and stepped aside as Prompto was tossed inside and closed the door after. He sighed as he went around to the driver's side and got in as well.

Gladiolus turned back around to look at Noctis and smirked.

Noctis looked at his combat trainer with a look that screamed 'Don't you dare' and was about to bolt. But before he could get anywhere Gladio picked him up from behind in a position that left the prince's arms pinned to his sides leaving him with only the option to try and squirm and kick out of the strong grasp.

"Dammit Gladio, put me down. It's not our car."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah" the older man grumbled and he struggled to open the door with a struggling prince in his arms. He finally got it open and threw Noct inside as he had done with Prompto, then shoved the future king over as he slid in behind him and shut the door. "Hit it Specs."

"Indeed" Ignis replied as he drove the car out of the parking lot and onto the road.

One hour later…

The argument carried over into the car for about a half an hour until it finally died down and got quiet, with Noct sulking in the backseat. He shifted into a more comfortable position, then suddenly jerked upright "Hey."

"What?!" Prompto cried out in surprise "Is it the bomb?!"

"I actually think this might be the Regalia"

Gladio looked at him "Really? You've gotta be freaking kidding me…" 

Ignis peered at Noct in the rear-view mirror "And what pray tell, changed your mind?"

"It has the curve in the back seat that I made from leaning to the side when I sleep. I'm not sure anyone could replicate that."

Gladiolus rolled his eyes and sighed wearily "Whatever…"

Ignis smirked "Well I guess that settles that then"

Prompto sighed in relief "Wow, am I glad to hear that. Good to know that this is our ride and not some beautiful black death trap in disguise." He looked over at the driver "Hey Ignis, do you think you could pull over at that rest stop? I really gotta pee."

"Same here" Noct chimed in.

"Why didn't you guys go when we were stopped back there?" Gladio asked

"Because you tossed us into the damn car before we got the chance." Noct replied cheekily.

Gladiolus snickered "Yeah okay smart-ass"

"Uh…Ignis is that a no?" Prompto asked "Because you just missed the turn."

"Well actually…" Ignis said with a tense and slightly panicked tone "I'm afraid that I can't stop the car. The brakes won't work."

A/N Alright guys that's it. No sequel either (unless you guys make me). Until next time…

Shits and Giggles

-Lofty 


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